HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share !
HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend ! |
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(Not listed in any particular order)
1) Be my best friend.
2) I need to know you call my name in your prayers
3) Hold me when I cry
4) Show and tell me that you love me often, and leave no doubt about it in my mind.
5) Show me your approval when I make a decision that is good.
6) Talk to me about what's important to you and to me.
7) Listen to me and don't treat me like I am stupid and don't know anything.
8) I need intimacy, and not just sexually. Anyone can have sex, but it takes a REAL man to be intimate. |
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TWENTY DOLLARS
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate down sizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totalling nearly$1 million. |
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10 Reasons Why God Created Eve!
10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because he knew men would never ask directions.
9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don't want to see what's on television, they want to see what else is on television.
8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when the seat wore out and therefore would need Eve to get one for him.
7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctors appointment for himself.
6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.
5. God knew that if the world was to be populated there would have to be someone to bear children, because men would never be able to handle it.
4. As "Keeper of the Garden" Adam would never remember where he put his tools.
3. The scripture account of creation indicates that Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone." He only ends up getting himself in trouble.
AND the #1 REASON WHY GOD CREATED EVE is ...
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1. When God had finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head and said, "I know I can do better than THIS!!"
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Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub.
Mick says to Paddy, 'I can't be bothered to walk all that way.'
'I know,'says Paddy, 'but we've no money for a cab and we'vemissed the last bus home.'
'We could steal a bus from the depot,'Mick suggests.
They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while he keeps a look-out..
After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, 'Paddy, what are youdoing? Have you not found one yet?'
Paddy shouts back, 'I cant find a No. 91'
'Oh Jeysus Christ, ye thick sod, take the No. 14 and we'll walk from the roundabout '.
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