| Sayings of Shrewd | ||
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[1] If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. [2] Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. [3] Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. [4] Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. [5] If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. [6] My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. [7] Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. [8] It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. [9]. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. [10] If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. [11] Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. [12] A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. [13] Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. [14] Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. [15] No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. [16] A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. [17] Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. [18] Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. [19] Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. [20] There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. [21] Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. [22] By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. [23] Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. [24] Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. [25] Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. |
